Why the U.S. Government Must Regulate Lies, Liscence Liars, and Protect America’s Lie Consumers from Molesters
Just two years ago, pundits asked, “Has America become a nation of liars?” Since then, America has blazed from unranked to third place among industrialized liars in the world. Economists estimate that U.S. lies are worth $1.3 trillion annually. This puts liars and their lies in 5th place behind Great Recession bankers ($1.36T), Hospitals ($1.34T), toiletries ($1.33T), and insurance ($1.32T). Notice there’s no manufacturing here because we gave that to the Chinese Communist Party at a whopping $6T annual loss. But lies are so much easier to fabricate than solar panels (90% from China), EV batteries (80% from China), and windmills (70% from China). All lies need is a mouth and the guts to grift in public to millions of lie consumers. The market for lies is so bright one expert said, “There’s quite literally no end to the gullibility market. Lie factories are even talking about export markets now, ready to compete with Russia and China.”
Lies are a critical component of our GDP and a flag-waving pillar of our family values. We need lies, we want lies, we gotta have lies for a strong U…S…A! It’s not only the American way; it’s the Christian Nationalist way. With God Almighty as our witness, a God who directed Moses in Exodus 4:21 to “Tell Pharoah to let my people go, but he won’t because I’m going to make him stubborn,” then killed all first-born toddlers of Egypt as punishment, this is the Liar we live up to. Forget chips and science factories. Lies and liars are our greatest asset and could be America First in less time than you think.
All over our great nation, liars are removing norms and innovating new asocial media to monetize lies. With just a touch more immorality, America could jump to second place behind Russian internet trolls who so far own our gullibility market — a massive bazaar waiting right here at home.
Just look at our gullibility leaders in Congress. This week, we found House GOPP star witness Alexander Smirnov — who said “Joe Biden got $5 million from Ukraine in a bribe” — is a Russian agent directed by Vladamir Putin. Says who? The Deep State FBI? Ohio Republican Rep. Jim Jordan said, “The most corroborated evidence we have is the FBI 1023 form from this highly credible human Smirnov!” Who to believe? The FBI or the FBI? They arrested Smirnov, let him go, then arrested him again, like impeaching Our Dear Leader twice, just because he tried to overthrow the Constitution after he tried to bribe Ukraine.
In a nation of liars, what’s the big deal? One man’s lies are another’s Kellyanne-Conway-alternative-facts. Facts are facts, right? Daniel Patrick Moynihan said, “Everybody has a right to their own facts.” So Putin’s directing the GOPP. That’s why it’s called The Grand Old Putin Party. Reagan was a big fan of Russia, and Trump’s so fond of the KGB he does volunteer work.
Honestly, what our Lib media hyperventilates about is astonishing. Lib lawyers are even claiming the Chairman of this Smirnov gig, Kentucky GOPP Rep. James Comer, and the very child-friendly Jim Jordan could go to prison as operatives for Russia.
WHAT?
Isn’t Biden directing the Libs? Does this mean Maryland Lib Rep. Jamie Raskin is going to jail for telling what people used to call “the truth”? Postmodern critical theorists have taught our kids for decades that “The truth is there is no truth, and that’s the truth.” They say Libs are trapped by their social constructs of truth the way Cons are trapped by their social construct of gender. Cons think there are two genders when there are countless genders and everybody’s gender fluid. Like the very queer Rudy Guiliani said, “Truth isn’t true!”
Clearly, lie consumers need protection from fondling molesters. There are perverts among us who coddle reason, morality, and science. You can’t eyeball a pervert just by looking at them. There’s no pervert flag on their house, no black star morality rating in their window, and no one would admit to being a scientist. Rush Limbaugh said, “Science and scientists are one of the four corners of evil and deceit!” We need forceful regulation against perverts who would upend this great nation of lies.
But liars need protection, too. One of America’s most imaginative liars, our own Tokyo Rose, Tucker Carlson, was the fall guy at FOX RT just because FOX paid $787 million for lying about the 2020 election that wasn’t stolen. While Hannity admitted under oath that he lies for a living and got to keep his job. Jesus said, “Seek the lie to coddle the people,” and that’s just what Hannity did before he went off air at Christmas 2022 “to find God,” he said. Why are our most patriotic Christians being persecuted willy-nilly? Because there’s no federal protection for liars and without a license, we can’t tell a real liar from a fake. So Tucker, Hannity and FOX lied about an election that spawned an insurrection to overthrow the Constitution and make the U.S. a client state of Putin. Isn’t that what we want? How else can we take the top spot among industrial liars if we don’t get in bed with the best of them? Liars need protection so we can attract our best young liars to fossil fuels and banking and Joseph Goebbels media, or we’ll keep getting inept ones like Georgia GOPP Rep. Barry Loudermilk who ran reconnaissance for Jan 6 jihadists and still couldn’t get ‘er done.
How can you, plain old Joe and Jill Sixpack, make a difference? VOTE! On November 5 of this year, vote for America, vote for lies, do your Christian duty and put the number one liar in North America in the Oval Office. Vote sTupid!
